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Now I know why people cry and mourn over dead pets. Dog died today. Apparently leapt to her death through the kitchen window. What boggled me was why. She usually shuns away from windows during thunderstorms and the window where she allegedly leapt from was always closed and locked. There's no way for her to... well... push the window open and jump. The grills of the window was rather small too so I really don't get how she managed.
She's been very down and moping lately. She used to run up and bark at us when we get home and trail after us with wagging tails and all but lately she didn't do much trailing. She'd come into my room and sit under the table besides the chair even during fair weather (she only usually do that when it's raining heavily). She doesn't even play much with my dad at night anymore. We just wrote it off as some sickness or something. Maybe she knew her time is up and wanna spend a little more time with us, say her goodbye? That's my aunt's theory anyway.
What really got to me was how sudden all this happened. Uncle just got back from Thailand with all sorts of doggy clothes and a new bed for her yesterday. Mom had pestered me for a few days before I finally transferred dog's photo out from her phone and burn them into a cd just the day before. I even got her to come to me without resorting to any doggy treats the other day.
...I just realize I never got to see her one last time. She had been dumped before I got back. Dad didn't want to bury her body. Maybe coz if we did, we'll be reminded of her every time we walk past that spot but I think it's cruel to just dump her like that.
I've never really cared or loved her but it still saddens me when she's gone that way. Maybe if someone was home today, or if I'd taken a sick leave today instead of Tuesday... Maybe if I'd bothered to check the windows before I leave.
Imagine my parents' grief if I'm feeling this sad. They doted on her like she's their daughter. They put more love into her than even me or my brother.
~
I'm sorry for not caring and patting you enough
I'm sorry for always running into you, stubby toes against your side when you're curl up under my bed ladder
I'm sorry for always threatening to make you into dog stew when you wake me up with your barking
And I really hope you get to a better place than all the crap we had subjected you to here
You have left a great many people saddened by your brief stay with us.
Goodbye dear Neggy.
May you be happier where you are.
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