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This is absurd to the point of hilarious. Seriously.
Remember the lil me-not-getting-invited-along-to-some-private-gathering post few weeks ago? Well, they planned another gathering for tomorrow ever since that last one and since I'd stuck to trailing after them, I more or less know of all of their plans but no invite. *shrugs* Wouldn't be the first time this time round would it? So I didn't bother much about it until yesterday.
Guy on internship with me: Uh... But don't you think 10 person is a little much?
One of the supervisors of the team (who is part of their private gathering the last time): 10 people? That's okay! *starts counting off people who are going and turns to me coz I happen to stand beside him* You wanna come?
Me: *looks to guy on internship quizzically* -inner voice- Do you really want me to go?
Guy: *looks sheepish and told me the location of their gathering*
Me: -inner voice- Well, since he asked and you can't do anything about it
-vocally- Okay~!
Sup: *adds me to the count* Any other?
Guy: Yea... there's another 2 girls coming.
Sup: So book for 13 places then.
Me: -sarcastic inner voice- Which is much more than 10
Guy: ...Okay then...
I didn't bother waving my hands around the first time coz I stick to the strict code of "you don't ask me along, I wouldn't bother expressing my desire to join you but if you do...". And since you asked this time, I'll just jump at the chance to see what I'd missed out on the last time, you know, when you didn't invite me.
Much thanks to zaid-bot for the encouragement on accepting the invite with my thickest skin pulled over my skull. It's bound to be awkward for me since they prolly didn't want me to be around in the first place (seeing as how I'm added to the count at the very last moment) but I'm hoping there'll be enough booze where I'm going to numb as much negative vibes as possible.
Gods... after so many years... I'd almost forgotten how I'm supposed to behave when I have no friends. At all. In a class of 40-1, minus me. *thinks back to the good ol' times of secondary school (equivalent of junior high)*
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The following takes place between 13:00 and 14:00 (today).
Lunchtime = trailing after the lot of them = idle gossip and trying to work my way to establish a decent friendship
So, I'm seated beside guy A (same guy as above) and across of us is guy B and fem sup. We had a nice civil idle gossip for a portion of the lunch hour but towards the end, fem sup and guy B started whispering to each other.
Seeing as how my trailing has led me to consciously filter out their whispering, I paid them no heed. Guy A wanted to know what they're talking about though--seeing as how he wasn't used to being ignored. Guy B said later coz it's kinda inconvenient (complete with slight headnod in my general direction. I could be reading too much into things and it's really not about me. They could always talk about me somewhere else, when I'm not in the general vicinity, right?)
Guy B and fem sup continued to whisper privately and guy A continue to look at them in hopes of catching some vital clue even though he is gonna find out what is being discussed from the horse's mouth and I continue to look everywhere but at the 2 whispering people seated across of me.
Guy A finally got what he wanted when we left the canteen with me at least a yard ahead of the 3 of them. Contrast to popular beliefs, I do know when I'm not wanted, thank you very much.
Gee... what a way to crush my remaining self-confidence. You guys talk about something and I'm not supposed to know but you whisper in front of me anyways? How does that not make anyone think it's not about them?! And yes, I'm egotistical like that.
Gods... I'd really thought I'd left junior high all those years ago. Zaid-bot said it reminded him of this song by Bowling For Soup. Title's High School Never Ends. So true, bro. So true.
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