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Dear mother, you may never know this post exist but I'll just go on with it anyways.
Everyday is the same routine ever since you decided to stop hiring a maid. You would come home every evening and scream at us for not doing our part in helping you out around the house. Even though the words might be different, the point is still the same. But have you actually sat down to consider our point of view? I know we didn't sit down to have a heart-to-heart chat about our current domestic situation but please, don't think I don't know that even if we did sit down and talk, you're still not gonna see things our way.
We aren't as perfect as you. Hell, we don't even consider perfection attainable but yet, you always managed to do the impossible. You idea of an ideal home is not unlike Bree Van De Camp’s but the fact that you are not at home 24 hours a day to monitor and seek out any imperfections made it only semi-perfect in your eyes. But to us, it is good enough. It doesn’t help to have a mountain load of clothes and dishes to be washed, floors to be swept and mopped, children to scream at for sitting in front of the computers and not helping you out.
Unlike you, who is able to leave work at work, we have to bring schoolwork home (hence the term homework). We have projects to do, reports to write, exams to study for. We can’t be free to do all that we can even if we wanted to, much less to your standard of things. There is just too much things to be done and too little time to do them. As for sitting in front of the computer, have you realized this is already 2006? It’s been almost 5 years since I begged and groveled my way into allow you to let me get internet access, something you still disapprove of but had no choice but to let me have it because that’s what school is making us do. Go to the internet for your assignments. Check your emails for notices. But who says work can’t be mixed in with fun? With my über ability to go off tangent on my thought patterns, why can’t I be looking for what I was thinking at the same moment as I get my online assignments? Why is it that playing is such a taboo in your dictionary? Must everyone be like you when you are a student, always studying and not having fun?
Maybe you are only familiar with the education system for a secondary school student way back when. Times have changed, mother. No matter how much you want things to stay as they are, we are all growing up. Secondary schools have been dealt so much changes that the only thing that stayed the same is the name, much less tertiary education and beyond. I had never felt so strapped for time in a school semester before. Things had been easy on my end, I admit. And this might just be karma coming to bite me on the ass all at once, punishing me for all the slack I had cut until now. I probably deserved every one of it too but all that schoolwork is just making me have less time to help you out and making you exasperate. I don’t wish for you to go screaming your lungs out every night either, no matter how much you think we like it.
It’s been truly a long while since I felt such anger, such angst. Against you, the school, the world. But I’d just about had enough of it. I don’t want to grow up being a cynic like you. I don’t want to grow up screaming at my kid/s for forgetting to change their sheets. I don’t want to grow up, period. It’s hard enough without external pressure. So please, cut me some slack. Cut enough slack for me to breathe.
Love unquestionably,
your daughter.
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