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*sniffles* I promised myself not to cry~ /drama queen
Beware: Contains Emo
Is this enough space?
GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!!
I think this is the hormones talking but I can't help but feel... I dunno, not sad per se... Maybe a lil kept out of the loop?
1) Friends have other friends they go out and spend time with.
Seeing all the photos of them having fun and sitting at home wondering why I can't be more like them and find friends to go out and have fun with me. Oh that's right! They are out with their friends, having fun.
2) Friends going on holidays with other friends.
Related to pt 1 sorta directly. Seeing all those fabulous vacation photos and wondering how do they find friends who are so happening and go to all those fabulous places and have so much fun with.
But of course, I am poor and the places and activities I wanna go and do cost money--money that The Mother says I do not have. Not helping my case is the f'd up schedule known as my class. Can't blame anyone except for myself there...
3) People are busy when I am free.
Sorta related to pt 1 but on a more official, work-related note. I'm not working full time right now so I'm basically out of sync with the rest of the world. Even if I'm working full time, I always find it hard to ask them to go out with me because I always feel that they'll prolly have something better or more important to do. Or be busy with something else.
And when I finally do ask them, coupled with my terrific sense of timing, I will always happen to ask them out on days where they already have prior engagements.
...I will make a terrible secretary.
4) Friends not really not bothering with me no matter how much I shout--I mean post on FB.
Maybe I'm not funny or engaging enough. Maybe what I post is not relevant to their interests. Maybe I don't even appear on their newsfeed.
Whatever the reason, I can never get people to comment in those fast and furious epic comment threads that entertain me oh so much when I post something.
On top of that, I'm not sure what I did or said, but most of the time, when I joined in those epic comment threads, I will be met with stony silence. Is it because I am not privy to their inner circle discussion? Is it because I'm weird and say things that is inappropriate or unfunny (at least to them)? I always thought I would've killed the audience with those jokes...
Sometimes, they will spare me the humiliation and someone will continue with what they were discussing as if I never happened. Grateful to those who couldn't stand awkward silences but can't help but feel a lil ignored.
/sigh
So conflicting... I like to be around friends but I don't seem to be able to fit in with them as well as others. Most times, I find myself sorta orbiting around their peripheral.
I also don't wanna be labelled as pushy and demand they take me with them even though I want to so I stand in the background and wait for them to invite me. And they don't. Because they don't want to. And because to them, I'm weird, say the most inappropriate things at the most inopportune time, have a lousy sense of humor and is all sorts of crazy. Probably.
Maybe I'm an obnoxious vampire that can transform into a bat. That would explain everything!!
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