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Went to the temple the other day and I read something very interesting on the board about Chinese zodiac.
Mine says that 'For the men, you will experience little luck at work. There will be disputes and colleagues will give you the cold shoulders' and I'm like O_o talk about accuracy. Lol... Other female friends on attachment don't have the problem I'm facing at their workplace so that could only mean I'm a guy, doesn't it? :p
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Now I know why people cry and mourn over dead pets. Dog died today. Apparently leapt to her death through the kitchen window. What boggled me was why. She usually shuns away from windows during thunderstorms and the window where she allegedly leapt from was always closed and locked. There's no way for her to... well... push the window open and jump. The grills of the window was rather small too so I really don't get how she managed.
She's been very down and moping lately. She used to run up and bark at us when we get home and trail after us with wagging tails and all but lately she didn't do much trailing. She'd come into my room and sit under the table besides the chair even during fair weather (she only usually do that when it's raining heavily). She doesn't even play much with my dad at night anymore. We just wrote it off as some sickness or something. Maybe she knew her time is up and wanna spend a little more time with us, say her goodbye? That's my aunt's theory anyway.
What really got to me was how sudden all this happened. Uncle just got back from Thailand with all sorts of doggy clothes and a new bed for her yesterday. Mom had pestered me for a few days before I finally transferred dog's photo out from her phone and burn them into a cd just the day before. I even got her to come to me without resorting to any doggy treats the other day.
...I just realize I never got to see her one last time. She had been dumped before I got back. Dad didn't want to bury her body. Maybe coz if we did, we'll be reminded of her every time we walk past that spot but I think it's cruel to just dump her like that.
I've never really cared or loved her but it still saddens me when she's gone that way. Maybe if someone was home today, or if I'd taken a sick leave today instead of Tuesday... Maybe if I'd bothered to check the windows before I leave.
Imagine my parents' grief if I'm feeling this sad. They doted on her like she's their daughter. They put more love into her than even me or my brother.
~
I'm sorry for not caring and patting you enough
I'm sorry for always running into you, stubby toes against your side when you're curl up under my bed ladder
I'm sorry for always threatening to make you into dog stew when you wake me up with your barking
And I really hope you get to a better place than all the crap we had subjected you to here
You have left a great many people saddened by your brief stay with us.
Goodbye dear Neggy.
May you be happier where you are.
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John Mayer Continuum album launch... without any actual John Mayer being around. Zaid-bot won the radio contest for the live gig in Wala Wala @ Holland Village on friday (gig's on sunday). He entered the contest because he was bored and the radio of the car he was in was talking about some John Mayer gig. He even texted me asking for the correct spelling for John Mayer (part of the contest thing). And he won! Just like that, he heard his name being announced when he was getting out of the car. He was the last one to be named and since the contest is on weekday radio, he's the last one to win, literally.
So we went and we got 3 free (alcoholic) drinks and 3 food items off their menu. The drinks was ok. I had a jim beam coke and a carlsberg. The 3 food items were rather many. Or it could be because the tables are small. We had a pizza, some calamari rings and yummy cheese jalepanos. It looked too much for 2 person so we called in reinforcements.
Santos and zy made their way to Holland V asap but they arrived later than my uncle Cody, who for some timely coincidence, called me and asked me where I was. Told him and asked him where he was and turns out, he was in Clementi. Very close to Holland V actually. So I told him to come down and join us, help us finish some food and that last free drink.
Santos arrived next and found us right away and I went down to get zy up. (Went down to get my uncle up too so the people near entrance were prolly thinking why that girl went in and out with so many different men. Lol...)
I don't know if it's coz I'm buzzing but it wasn't as weird as I'd thought. Maybe the guys would feel differently. Lol... A bunch of early tweens with one early thirties guy. It's rather good fun, talking about random stuff. zy didn't seem too happy but maybe he's just tired (He didn't drink coz he don't like alcohol, he didn't eat coz he'd had pizza for 2 days straight)
It's nice to see Santos again. The last time I saw him was around Xmas to passed him his birthday (29 July) present. Even in the dimly lit place, I could still see that he'd tanned even more. He wasn't exactly fair-skinned to start with. :P
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This is gonna turn out to be such a long post so I'll put them into different segments. Take your pick people.
~~Solitaire~~
Last friday, in a rare moment of bonding, I made things awkward again. The female supervisor the other 2 guys had taken a shining to was playing Solitaire and couldn't win. I helped her out and they were like "wowow... you're so good at this!". I just smiled and said it's the result of not having any friends. I'd ended up playing Solitaire all the time. One of the guy was rather sweet when he tried to defuse the awkward situation by saying I'm just luckier than the fem sup coz all card games depend on luck.
~~Sunburnt but happy~~
So the girls and I finally had a get-together after god knows how long and it was great. We swam in the morning, sang karaoke in the afternoon and sang more karaoke til the wee hours in the morning. We had so much fun that day even though I'm still suffering the consquences of midday poolside tanning (sunburnt arms but nicely tanned legs. weird innit?)
Ever since starting attachment, I'd never felt so loved and valued. It's such a nice break from the harsh office politics where I am small, invisible and insignificant.
I love you girls!!! *muacks*
~~Bad Judgement Call v1.0~~
This afternoon, when given a choice of not attending this meeting which went on everyday (much of which didn't really involve me in any major way), I took it and skipped the meeting. Turns out, the meeeting on this fateful day was all about my part in the testing. @_@ And I'm the only one not present! Gods... can my timing get any worse?
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This is absurd to the point of hilarious. Seriously.
Remember the lil me-not-getting-invited-along-to-some-private-gathering post few weeks ago? Well, they planned another gathering for tomorrow ever since that last one and since I'd stuck to trailing after them, I more or less know of all of their plans but no invite. *shrugs* Wouldn't be the first time this time round would it? So I didn't bother much about it until yesterday.
Guy on internship with me: Uh... But don't you think 10 person is a little much?
One of the supervisors of the team (who is part of their private gathering the last time): 10 people? That's okay! *starts counting off people who are going and turns to me coz I happen to stand beside him* You wanna come?
Me: *looks to guy on internship quizzically* -inner voice- Do you really want me to go?
Guy: *looks sheepish and told me the location of their gathering*
Me: -inner voice- Well, since he asked and you can't do anything about it
-vocally- Okay~!
Sup: *adds me to the count* Any other?
Guy: Yea... there's another 2 girls coming.
Sup: So book for 13 places then.
Me: -sarcastic inner voice- Which is much more than 10
Guy: ...Okay then...
I didn't bother waving my hands around the first time coz I stick to the strict code of "you don't ask me along, I wouldn't bother expressing my desire to join you but if you do...". And since you asked this time, I'll just jump at the chance to see what I'd missed out on the last time, you know, when you didn't invite me.
Much thanks to zaid-bot for the encouragement on accepting the invite with my thickest skin pulled over my skull. It's bound to be awkward for me since they prolly didn't want me to be around in the first place (seeing as how I'm added to the count at the very last moment) but I'm hoping there'll be enough booze where I'm going to numb as much negative vibes as possible.
Gods... after so many years... I'd almost forgotten how I'm supposed to behave when I have no friends. At all. In a class of 40-1, minus me. *thinks back to the good ol' times of secondary school (equivalent of junior high)*
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The following takes place between 13:00 and 14:00 (today).
Lunchtime = trailing after the lot of them = idle gossip and trying to work my way to establish a decent friendship
So, I'm seated beside guy A (same guy as above) and across of us is guy B and fem sup. We had a nice civil idle gossip for a portion of the lunch hour but towards the end, fem sup and guy B started whispering to each other.
Seeing as how my trailing has led me to consciously filter out their whispering, I paid them no heed. Guy A wanted to know what they're talking about though--seeing as how he wasn't used to being ignored. Guy B said later coz it's kinda inconvenient (complete with slight headnod in my general direction. I could be reading too much into things and it's really not about me. They could always talk about me somewhere else, when I'm not in the general vicinity, right?)
Guy B and fem sup continued to whisper privately and guy A continue to look at them in hopes of catching some vital clue even though he is gonna find out what is being discussed from the horse's mouth and I continue to look everywhere but at the 2 whispering people seated across of me.
Guy A finally got what he wanted when we left the canteen with me at least a yard ahead of the 3 of them. Contrast to popular beliefs, I do know when I'm not wanted, thank you very much.
Gee... what a way to crush my remaining self-confidence. You guys talk about something and I'm not supposed to know but you whisper in front of me anyways? How does that not make anyone think it's not about them?! And yes, I'm egotistical like that.
Gods... I'd really thought I'd left junior high all those years ago. Zaid-bot said it reminded him of this song by Bowling For Soup. Title's High School Never Ends. So true, bro. So true.
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